July 2011
1 post
June 2010
1 post
: A secret about me →
Me neither! Haven’t driven at all in 3 years, never had my full license! It started as laziness and turned into irrational fear and now I am terrified to ever drive ever even though it is a useful skill to have.
There is a secret about me that some people know but others don’t.
I don’t know how to drive. A car. I’ve never had my driver’s license. Not once. I’ve had my learner’s...
May 2010
0 posts
April 2010
10 posts
i...can't...stop →
the last thing i needed to be introduced to the day before my exam
excuse me??
the conservative party of canada just called me and asked for me by name somehow...? and asked for money.
guy: blah blah blah home renovation rebate blah blah blah economy blah blah blah ad campaign blah blah blah phase 2 (carries on for a solid 2 minutes) don't you agree?
me: uh...sure?
guy: heh heh, well I agree. So, do you think you could support your Conservative Party of Canada with a $200 tax-deductible donation?
me: nope!
guy: well, i understand, money's tight in times like these, i can't even afford $200...some people just say, "sure, cut that amount in half and i'll send you a cheque for $100?" Can you make a tax-deductible donation of $100 to your Conservative Party of Canada?
me: nope!
guy: well, we will be in touch in the future!
me: oh.
guy: thank you for your time tonight!
frown. how the aitch do you know me and why and why are you so ballsy as to ask me for money---not just a general donation, but $200 specifically???
it is one of those situations during which you are just flabbergasted and after which you think of all these great and inflammatory things you could have said! shoot!!!
: Any language where the unassuming word fly... →
Any language where the unassuming word fly signifies an annoying insect, a means of travel, and a critical part of a gentleman’s apparel is clearly asking to be mangled. Imagine being a foreigner and having to learn that in English one tells a lie, but the truth, that a person who says “I could…
Best author. Just bought “Bill Bryson’s African Diary” to complete my...
March 2010
2 posts
"pacman, i'm jewish!"
p.s. this is from 30 rock, do not get any funny ideas.
this is a real THING??? →
February 2010
3 posts
December 2009
1 post
Kawaii Crepe!
i love crepes a whole lot and have always been sad/disappointed/confused about our lack of creperies given our large french population. aaaaaaaaaaanyway, today we went to kawaii crepe on osbourne for lunch and it was so so good. aaaaaah, nutella and coconut. so good, people are v. nice, inside is fun. all you winnipegians should go.
November 2009
8 posts
i should never have sold my delorean to mr. t!
winnipeg.
hotelcitroen:
It’s a tiny city when you really think about it.
Saturday night I went to a friend’s engagement party with a bunch of other friends. There were also many other people that were invited that I did not know whatsoever, seeming as I’m not familiar with the bride-to-be’s friendship circles or family relationships. As I was making my way to the hors d’oeuvres eating all the kielbasa, I...
October 2009
8 posts
September 2009
6 posts
i finished my last shift at starbucks 2 hours ago (ah) and my nails are already painted, for the first time in almost a year and a half.
“if i didn’t have parents, i’d be drunk 8 days a week”
– some sort of uni student outside uw. leaders of tomorrow, people!!
http://peopleofwalmart.com/ →
wow
learn something every day →
trivia every day! i love facts!
August 2009
5 posts
C-LINE:
i miss you. come home now for a lunch date!
sandra is house- and dog-sitting so we had a sleepover and dranks and chinese food and trashy tv and super nintendo and a thunderstorm! best. the golden chopstick sounds like it would be a lesser takeout establishment but we were pleasantly proved wrong.
work today consisted of hip wars (my centre of gravity is too high and my hips too narrow) and a bartering, fortune-telling grifter-hobo who predicted caroline’s future in return for a cup of tea and stole his tarot cards and magic coin from an “evil psychic”. he gave caroline a seashell and me a ribbon and a paper flower. at least he was wearing shoes this time
ROLLIN THE DICE AT WORK!
iambayardlau:
gregthedino:
iambayardlau:
Let’s see if this new gamble of mine pays off.
HERE’S THE DEAL. Guy comes into the store asking for a Jerry can says he ran out of gas. i dont have one. he wants to make a deal, if i spot him 25 dollars for the deposit hes gunna go borrow one from the gas station! naturally my mind is saying “fuck that” but another part of my brain is saying “bayard...
July 2009
9 posts
“People for a library-themed Ben & Jerry’s... →
apparently there is a facebook group petitioning ben & jerry’s to make a library-themed ice cream flavour. of course i agree with this endeavour because i like ice cream, books, and puns.
SPOTTED:
on the bus, The Vampire, looking like a dude. Eye contact was made; I went to the front. I don’t know what to make of this fellow
today i creeped out mrghosty. my apologies; truly, i recognized your glasses first.
